The Fat Girls Guide to Unpacking

After recently moving, I realized I am an f-ing fantastic packer but a horrible unpacker.

Then it dawned on me: I'm lazy.

Are all Fat Girls lazy? I believe they are, only not to the extent I am.

Packing is exciting. A new place to live, a chance to purge the clothes from your wardrobe that you now realize you will never fit into again, and the opportunity to really figure out what that smell was under your bed 2 years ago.

But unpacking. Blech.

Suddenly you realize you only actually need a pair of footie pajamas, your ipod, and a blow up mattress to survive.

When you first have this amazing revelation you begin to think, "what else can I live without?"

So you stop unpacking clothes because you know you did a shitty job packing them in the first place and you hate ironing. Once you begin rotating the same 4 shirts and the same 2 pairs of pants, you look to other rooms. Do I really need more than 1 dish? Can I cook everything in the microwave?

Yes, yes you can.


You'll know you've reached optimum Fat Girl laziness when you stop unpacking the bathroom.


Don't stop unpacking the bathroom.


Do you really need a blow dryer?

Yes.



Can I use just one towel?



No.



Where is my toilet paper?



Find it. Now.

There are times when Fat Girls are role models.

This is not one of those times.