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Sunday, September 9, 2007

Fat Girls Guide to Things That Generally Frustrate

Part of being a Fat Girl is a general frustration (of varying degrees, of course) for people who do certain (stupid) things.

This frustration comes in levels:

I. Level One: Questionable Taste, but I'll Overlook It: Skorts, Britney Spears (old stuff), Beanie Baby Collectibles, TV shows about giving birth, "I'll just have a bite" of dessert.

II. Level Two: I'll Still Be Your Friend, but I Have to Bring This Up: Jorts (jean shorts), listening to Delilah on the radio, Howie Mandell, small dogs, "Cute" Looney Toon tattoos.

III. Level Three: This May Just Ruin Our Friendship: Celine Dion, pastel pantsuits, statements such as "I just don't understand sports", small dogs in clothing, boyfriends smaller than you are.

IV. Level Four: That's It. I May Poke You In the Eye: Britney Spears (2002-present), high-waisted pants, not wearing underwear ever, excitement over High School Music III, anything resembling the statements made by Miss Teen South Carolina, sugar-free ice cream.

1 comments:

Katie Hill said...

I think given the Brit-Brit debacle on the VMAs Sunday evening, you need to create a Level 5. Because (in case you didn't know already), once again she flashed her crotch to the world, sans panties. Britney + not wearing underwear ever = new category general frustration.

Funny aside: I missed seeing her live "performance" because I was in church with my dad. See Britney, some of us are virtuous Americans.