The Fat Girls Guide: Douchebags, Part 2

It's important to know how serious a douche bag encounter is. Just like Homeland Security has their terror scale, Fat Girls have the douche bag scale. Check out the actual scale, and then I'll give you a few tests so you know you're ready.



Note: I made this. Don't steal it without giving me credit. Otherwise you're a douche bag.

Ok, here's a few tests. Look at the picture and tell me what level douche bag-ery you're facing:

1.
(picture courtesy of starpulse.com)

Yeah, I know, everyone loves Matthew McConaughey. We've all loved a douche, right? Now, this is definitely green. He's really more of a tool, and this is the only picture I could find of him in a shirt.

Good job!

2.
(picture courtesy of: adpulp.com)

Again, it's amazing how often we come in contact with douche bags because JOHN MAYER is totally a douche (and a tool). This is level blue. Make fun of him. A lot.

Now, it doesn't get much more obvious than this:

3.
(photo courtesy of the AMAZING website www.njdouchebags.com GO THERE NOW)

Clearly you're into the yellow range (although by the look of his fake tan he's attempting to escalate to orange).

Now, this is when it's tricky. Is it an Orange level Douche or a Red level Douche? It's hard. Try these:


(photo: thehollywoodgossip.com)
Told you! It's Double Douche, but have we reached level red?


(picture: janetcharltonshollywood.com)

Yeah, red? orange? I'm not sure either. Total douche, though. Total douche.


(photo: guidespot.com)
What? Didn't realize women can be douche bags too? Madonna always challenges society boundaries, doesn't she? Douche.

And finally, THIS is when you know you've hit RED:


(photo: guidespot.com)

You've been educated. Fat Girls- attack!

Didn't Get It Last Time? More Douche Bag Background Info

The Fat Girls Guide to Douche Bags: Part 1- Spotting a Douche Bag

With summer coming the douche bags will come out of the woodwork with their stupid t-shirts and over-worked calf muscles. Before you’re duped by a douche-in-disguise, you’ve got to know what you’re looking for.

This is a 2-part series on Douche Bags just in time for summer.

Before we can rate a douche bag’s level of douche bag-ery we have to be able to recognize them. Here’s an excellent video comparing a nice guy to a douche bag.





Still confused? Here's a great picture with some details to look for:

Yeah, you’ve loved a douche. We’ve all loved a douche. It’s OK.

But Fat Girls know that not all douche bags are so easy to spot. Some douche bags don’t meet conventional standards and will often just be labeled a tool or a narcissist. But Fat Girls have incredible douche bag radar because if there’s one thing a Fat Girl loves it’s rippin’ on a douche bag.

Next up: The Douche Bag Advisory System.

(Special thanks to tastybooze.com for the pic)

Fat Girls Guide to Finding a Layout: I Give Up

Trying to get a new layout for this blog is like trying to pry ice cream out of my hands.

Because I am (a) an adult and (b) a fat girl, I do not want layouts with (a) Twilight or (b) really skinny girls. WTF!

So (for now) I’m using this one. I’ll admit, after about 20 pages of looking I just gave up. I’m hungry.